"no I can NOT go to the pediatrician alone, you savage" george clooney squeals to his mother
george clooney throws a temper tantrum when he finds out he is too tall to ride the spinning teacups. ‘more flags more fun’ he bellows as he moons the pimpled ride operator
clooney gets word of chad kroeger and avril lavigne’s engagement. clooney scoffs, “i thought we all just wanted to be big rock stars, chad…” betrayal
george clooney stares wistfully at his adele record. “we are never ever getting back together.” how could she
george clooney heaves a sigh as he looks down at his watch. brad is late for their coffee date again. “damn you pitt!”
albus dumbledore jumps out of george clooney’s birthday cake. no that’s a stripper covered in frosting. gross.
george clooney’s just a poor boy, george clooney needs no sympathy
george clooney goes to the moon so that he can see the great wall of china. what do you mean thats a myth. oops.
george clooney buys his eight-year-old daughter a pack of mikes hard lemonades. “wow, kids really love this stuff,” he muses, pleased by his cool new soda discovery. hold my pigtails dad
George jeers at his daughter: “Only Brad and I know what it’s like to have hot girl problems, so stop singing it.”
george clooney power walks past 8th grade emos hanging out by the movie theater on his way to see The Lucky One. “zac efron is my anti-drug” he whispers
george clooney’s remote breaks, leaving him stuck watching televised catholic masses. “where can you find god in your everyday life?” asks the priest. george clooney has an answer: chipotle
george clooney takes all the dum-dums from the basket at denny’s. don’t stop me now
George Clooney surfs the web, stumbling upon several new fanfiction stories he hasn’t read yet. why are ginny and draco kissing? god damn you xxMoonliteReflexionsxx is nothing sacred
George Clooney is enjoying a plate of ribs, barbecue sauce dripping down his chin. He whispers, “Rack city bitch, rack rack city bitch,” and giggles excitedly.