a day in the life of george clooney

Aug 08

"no I can NOT go to the pediatrician alone, you savage" george clooney squeals to his mother

May 08

george clooney throws a temper tantrum when he finds out he is too tall to ride the spinning teacups. ‘more flags more fun’ he bellows as he moons the pimpled ride operator

Aug 22

clooney gets word of chad kroeger and avril lavigne’s engagement. clooney scoffs, “i thought we all just wanted to be big rock stars, chad…” betrayal

Aug 11

george clooney stares wistfully at his adele record. “we are never ever getting back together.” how could she 

Jul 31

george clooney heaves a sigh as he looks down at his watch. brad is late for their coffee date again. “damn you pitt!”  

Jul 26

albus dumbledore jumps out of george clooney’s birthday cake. no that’s a stripper covered in frosting. gross.

Jun 17

george clooney’s just a poor boy, george clooney needs no sympathy

george clooney goes to the moon so that he can see the great wall of china. what do you mean thats a myth. oops.

Jun 07

george clooney buys his eight-year-old daughter a pack of mikes hard lemonades. “wow, kids really love this stuff,” he muses, pleased by his cool new soda discovery. hold my pigtails dad

May 18

George jeers at his daughter: “Only Brad and I know what it’s like to have hot girl problems, so stop singing it.”

May 14

george clooney power walks past 8th grade emos hanging out by the movie theater on his way to see The Lucky One. “zac efron is my anti-drug” he whispers

Apr 30

george clooney’s remote breaks, leaving him stuck watching televised catholic masses. “where can you find god in your everyday life?” asks the priest. george clooney has an answer: chipotle

Apr 24

george clooney takes all the dum-dums from the basket at denny’s. don’t stop me now

Apr 23

George Clooney surfs the web, stumbling upon several new fanfiction stories he hasn’t read yet. why are ginny and draco kissing? god damn you xxMoonliteReflexionsxx is nothing sacred 

George Clooney is enjoying a plate of ribs, barbecue sauce dripping down his chin. He whispers, “Rack city bitch, rack rack city bitch,” and giggles excitedly.